Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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