new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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