I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i think my cat just said my name.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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