The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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