My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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