Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
