Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
