Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
