Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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