What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
