Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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