She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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