She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
