My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I AM VODKA MAN
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Come on in and take your pants off
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