Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
