She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
