my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My dick has a subreddit
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
