I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
