I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
