that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.