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We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Randomize
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