I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked