Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
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Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
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every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick