i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
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He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible