I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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