i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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