is this the sara with the beer cane?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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