Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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