You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just tell him i said nine months
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
