too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize