Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I will be naked everywhere
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
