I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
