I just pynch a tree in the face
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
