is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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