i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
