so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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