I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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