I could have mohawked her pubes.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
