Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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