You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
