Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
