You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
