cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
