she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
