You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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