I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
