He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
