you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
