i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
