I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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