if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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