bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
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Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
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I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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