Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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