I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
