chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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