If i come over, it means nothing
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
