in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
