you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
