Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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