After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
