We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
