you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
